Yugioh Girls Flatulent Diaries
by Kirino Imouto Lover
Summary: Mai Valentine lets out nasty smells on her cards. Then decides to play a game with Rex Raptor...a game which isn't very benevolent to one's nostrils.


**Yugioh Girl Flatulent Diaries**

Mai pressed her bare butt to her Harpie Lady card and sighed.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppppppppppppppppttttttttttttttttttttttt

…her posterior went.

"That smells terrible, doesn't it, Harpie Lady?" she said. "Sorry but it must be done so I can know what cards I have in my hand without looking. This is a taco fart."

She pushed Harpie Lady aside, then sat on Elegant Egotist.

Ppppppppppppppppllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllgggggggggggggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Her waves of enchilada fart swirled around the room.

But she was in a dump on the boat heading to Duel Island. She needed a bigger room, and a sap who would relinquish it to her.

There was a scruffy-looking boy who had come in second at the tournament. He'd give her his room if she forced his hand. All she had to do was threaten him with farts if he didn't play her game. Which he would inevitably lose. Then receive her farts anyway.

She scooped up her cards and hastily donned panties and a skirt. Then she darted in the direction of Rex's room, making sure to spritz herself with wonderful-smelling perfume, concealing the fact that she was a skunk-girl waiting to release her gas.

She decided to see if a guard would give her a better room without deception first. Too bad she couldn't fart on him. They might throw her off the boat, and that would be terrible.

Then the dinosaur freak showed up, admitting he had a luxury room.

Mai, knowing how easy it is to win boys over when you're as attractive as she is, asked casually fi he'd show her his room. He couldn't resist, nor realizing her butt was tinging at the thought of being smashed into his face.

Rex's room was spacious. It had elaborate furniture and plenty of room to walk around. Nothing like the cramped room Mai had been assighed to, with only a matress and no floor room.

Mai grinned to herself. Her sheets would smell terrible, fart residue on them. And soon Rex would be sleeping there, smelling her fart…

She was starting to get giddy at the thought.

After buttering him up with comments about him being a strong Duel Monsters player (as if, he was clearly a joke duelist, probably never had any real competition in his life), she suggested they play a little game.

"I never lose at games," Rex bragged.

"Don't be so sure," she said. "But I have a way you'll want to play this one."

"And how's that?"

"If you win, I'll give you a kiss."

His grin shone, for of course he wanted to kiss her. She knew it, all guys were putty in her hands. Even if a loser like this had a girlfriend, he'd still want to lock lips with Mai.

Although she didn't tell him that either way he'd be farted on. She'd let him learn that when it was too late.

She pulled out her deck of cards. "I will guess what's on each card without opening my eyes," she said. "If I guess five of them in a row right, I win and I get your room."

"Wait, I never agreed to giving you my room," Rex said.

"You said you never lose, right?" Mai taunted, pouting and batting her eyelashes. Rex melted at the sight.

"Of course I won't lose. There's no way you can guess your cards correctly."

"So you will play?" she asked.

"Absolutely."

"Great." She extracted her deck from its pouch and placed it before him, pleased at how his look of glee changed to one of revulsion as his nostrils were blasted with the farts she had laid on the cards earlier.

"On second though, I'm not sure this is going to work," Rex said.

"Don't tell me you're chicken now," Mai taunted. "You do want that kiss, don't you?"

"Yes, I'm but not sure it's worth, this trouble," Rex said, sighing.

Mai jumped out of her chair and pressed her butt to his face. "If you don't play my game, I will fart on you heavily, because that is what chickens like you deserve."

"You can't be serious," Rex said, alarmed.

"Oh yeah, test me," Mai said.

Suddenly she had to release a fart,, She tried to hold it in, but it was a no go.

Ttttttttttttttttttttttttjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"Oh, my butt feels so much better," she sad, gleefully.

"How can you do that?" Rex snapped. "I thought you were ladylike."

"Farting is ladylike, you bumfuzzle," Mai said, slightly slapping him. 'Now play my game or there will be more."

"You are a cruel woman," Rex groaned. Mai could tell her regretted inviting her, but it was obviously too late.

She sat back in her chair.

"So you will have your eyes closed as I pick up these cards and try to guess what's on them?"

"That's the idea," she said.

"No way are you going to guess them," he said.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Mai taunted. "In fact I have a 100 percent chance of getting them all right."

"No way," Rex said. A blast of her lingering fart erupted into his mouth though and forced him to cough for a few seconds. Judging by his grimace, he was extremely grossed out, which pleased Mai to no end.

Mai shut her eyes and as he held up the cards, she knew exactly which ones they were because of the kinds of fart she released on them and for how long.

For instance the Harpie Lady card had a taco fart, Elegant Egotist an enchilada one, and Cyber Shield a pancake one that had lasted fifteen minutes and retained that powerful fart smell.

"Impossible!" Rex said, as she guessed correctly each card. He had a tough time holding back his gag reflex. It was so nasty inhaling the gas splayed across them.

"Since I've named them all, I get your room," Mai said, giggling to herself. "And you have to clear out. But not before I give you a present."

Rex looked excited, as if he thought she'd give him a kiss after all. Instead, she shoved her butt in his face. "I have half an hour of fart to unleash. And you will take ever ounce of it!" she exclaimed.

Rex struggled to escape, but Mai pressing down on him was tough to deal with and he nearly felt smothered.

Ssssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbffffffffffffffffffffffffffppppppppppppppppppppppppttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvtttttttttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhddddddddddddddvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqsssssssssssssssssssvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

So many awful smells flooded the room. From Mai's breakfasts of bacon, sausage, waffles, pancakes, and French toast, to the lunches of tomato soup and grilled cheese, to the steak dinners with cabbage which really smells terrible coming out the rear end,

It actually lasted longer than thirty minutes. Closer to three quarters of an hour after she had begun, Mai finally removed her gorgeous butt from its perch, and allowed Rex to sag to the floor, defeated as floods of gas which he'd smell for the rest of the day, in his memory, terrifying him in his nightmares that night.

Mai kicked him toward the door, showing no mercy. Her foot really hurt when it came into any contact with his body. But for some reason he felt paralyzed, unable to move a muscle and dodge.

At last she kicked him out of the room, right in the shin. Blood spilled from it, right in the hallway.

"Oh there's one more fart for you," Mai said. Zooming her posterior to his face, she let it rip.

Pppppppppppppppppllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

It smelled so bad, like three fish tacos and four beef tacos combined coming out in a fairly long rush.

Standing up, Mai looked down at his with disdain. "Oh by the way, if you tell anyone about this, I'll make you my permanent fart slave while we're on Duelist Kingdom. And as I'm pretty sure you don't want that, I trust you'll keep this a secret."

She put a finger to her lips to emphasis shushing. "Well, see ya loser," she said Turning on her feels, she entered the room she had acquired from him, pleased that he would suffer there for awhle before he could leave. And her butt never felt better, finally forcing a guy to smell her flatulence, which she had desired to do for quite some time.


End file.
